the heaven and the earth

Cerul şi Pământul sung by Adi Gliga.  Beautiful.
 My favorite Moldovan Christmas song so far.

love,

annie

learning

I don't know what to tell you.  Not doing very well with this blog thing.  I am sorry.

• I've fallen in love with a 6 year old boy.  He's emotional and gets upset easily, but he carefully painted a picture for one of our volunteers and showed it to me today.  He even wrote her name on the page.  Last Thursday, the day of our Christmas program, he walked up to me in the midst of the kids-waiting-for-guests chaos and said, "How do I look?" as he sported his best clothes.  He's part of a group staying at the orphanage that is being sponsored by an outside sports organization.  He goes to school like everyone else, has free time in the afternoon, and then has "training" in the evening.  Evidently, it's a group of "hocheişti".  Monday their trainer (2 other little boys in our group attend this "training".) came to get them because we lost track of time.  This little boy waited until his tough trainer/coach was gone, and then gave me a big hug goodbye.

• I start crying every time I hear the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah.  

• We took 4 older kids into the city last night.  We made a camera scavenger hunt in the center of the city, ate cake and hot cocoa/cappuccino, and then strolled down Strada Ştefan cel Mare şi Şfânt to see the lights...and the enormous and overly decorated Christmas tree in front of Parliament.  The kids were glowing.  Magda, Rachel, and I were glowing because they were glowing.  For one of the girls, it was her first cup of hot chocolate.

• It is painful to see so much hurt in these kids

• Today I talked with Rachel for probably 30 minutes about retirement plans...after I'd spent probably 30 minutes on the IRS website.  After 5 years with Principal I can't get it out of my head.  :)

• Last week I went to a Christmas party for the women of our church.  We all really enjoyed the time together.  I am so grateful to be welcomed into the community of this church.  

I have been so overwhelmed with love and support from friends and family.  Packages.  Email and facebook messages.  Random Skyping.  Prayers.  Encouragement to keep going.  Learning about being known and being loved.  Amazing and giving teammates.  Children who have nothing yet share every single package of sweets.

becoming...

Recent thoughts from a prayer letter...

The kingdom of this world

Is become

The kingdom of our Lord, and of His Christ

Today I cried at this phrase in Handel’s Messiah.  These words, powerfully sung, strike me this year.  Instead of uniformly robed choirs, images of the whitewashed concrete dorms dusted with snow come to mind.  I think of walks with kids from their dorm to the cafeteria: a hurried, loud, and chaotic place to eat.  Pictures of upturned faces wanting love and haunted eyes with so many questions flood my memory.  I hear sound bytes of little girls exclaiming over painted nails and lip gloss while wearing coats that no longer zip or button correctly.  The discrepancy over what is now and what is to be is overwhelming.

Last week our kids stood in front of a group of 9th grade students visiting from a different school.  After introductions, our group of 18 kids sang and handed out greeting cards they made for the guests.  The visiting students brought a movie to watch, and then played with our kids for at least an hour.  The most wonderful part of the whole evening was watching these 9th graders from comfortable families in Chişinău play UNO and color pictures with our kids from the orphanage.  As connections were made, walls and assumptions began to crumble.  The visiting students brought gifts for our kids, but the best part of their evening was definitely playing together.  It was beautiful.  Some of the young women from the visiting class even came back this week to volunteer.

With all the chaos and the stress that comes with the unknown, I am reminded today that these words put to music by George Handel are as much a promise of what is to come as they are an invitation to live as though the words are reality now.  An encouragement to continue to be present with the kids at the orphanage, because although their reality seems to be anything but the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ – He has not abandoned them and has promised to bring redemption.

Thank you so much for your prayers for the children of the orphanage and for our team.  Please especially keep John and his new wife Rachel in your prayers as they begin married life together in the States!  Whoo hoo!  We look forward to welcoming them back to Moldova in April!
Much love,
Annie

“The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ,

and he will reign for ever and ever.” (Revelation 11:15).

Updates?

Want to know what is going on lately in the work?  Check out my update/prayer letters here.  Or you can even check out The Cry...Word Made Flesh's great quarterly journal...

Much love,

annie

treasure

Four days until I board a plane for a visit home...

I can barely concentrate.

Been trying to write a bio for the WMF website for, oh, 3 weeks.  Three paragraphs.  Not brain surgery.  Who even really spends time studying bios?  But I am having a difficult time choosing words and phrases.  Too prideful?  What am i afraid of?  Silliness...and yet, here i am writing this.  and my sister, who writes bios for people all the time, even gave me a template...

After a week at a different location, we started going again to the camp for the kids from the internat/boarding school we've been working with this spring.  

T, a 14-year old girl and friend of mine, asked me today if I had visited my family yet.  She's taught me a short poem in romanian, a few games, and some moldovan folk dancing - in short, taken me under her wing, so to speak.  She is at this camp all summer.  She was at the internat/boarding school all week during Easter.  T has no one to go home to.  She has no parents or family to visit.  This beautiful, young woman with long brown hair is pretty much on her own.

looking her in the eyes, i forced out the words, "no, i leave friday for a month.  but i'll be back in august."

suddenly, my planning and anxiety and worry is pretty empty.  i get to go home.  for a whole month.  and into the encouraging and loving arms of friends and family who are amazing beyond what i can express.

and suddenly i kind of don't want to go.  i just want to stay next to her and try to converse and listen to her laugh.  wanting to sit in the presence of Jesus together.  i've always pondered that "treasure" that the guy in the parable found when he sold everything and bought the land where it was buried.  Jesus said the Kingdom of Heaven is like that treasure.  Matthew 13.

Today, i wonder if treasure is T and her peers at the camp. 

Being together with them in the presence of Jesus while making bracelets, playing chinese checkers, and chatting - that is the field purchased.  

it's been...

This week has been crazy. It started with chapel on Monday with just Rach and I in the house in Centru, and ended with sharing a meal with Adriana at the Autobuz.

Here's the in-between:

• Kids have 3 major tests here in the school system. A set in 4th grade, a set in 9th grade, and then the big one to complete 12th grade. Our 4th graders had their tests this week. We haven't seem them since Tuesday (see below for explanation), but I can't wait to see them Monday. The kids get dressed up in white shirts, boys get haircuts, and everyone brings a flower to their teacher on the big day. Kids were pretty anxious about it. From what I understand, the tests were Wednesday through Friday. Think of them as the annual Iowa Test of Basic Skills, but on serious steroids and without scan tron answer sheets (or whatever they are using these days). Since some of our kids may not know how to read, I was even stressed out for them. I have nightmares about showing up unprepared for exams and essay tests, I can't imagine the frustration and terror and stress of having to take an exam without being able to understand the words.

• Last week I made this "play dough" kind of concoction and they made butterflies. (okay, it was mostly sticky dough. a few times the kids would just look up at me with their hands covered in gobby mess and say, "can i just color a picture?") Tuesday they painted the butterflies with watercolors, as well as their own scenes on a blank piece of paper. I LOVED watching them create and seeing what their hearts and minds produced. I don't think they get a lot of opportunity to paint and color...there's just not the time or the resources, mostly. But some of them are really talented and thinking outside the box.

• J, a bright and seemingly self-motivated girl with long brown hair, and I had a brief conversation about talent that day. She asked as we painted, "Do you like to paint? Do you have talent?" Looking down at the table where a kindergarten-rate pink and red butterfly was beginning to take shape on the paper before me, I answered, "I like to paint but I don't have the talent. I like it, I don't have talent, but I do it anyway." Tilting her head to the side and pausing to look at me with paintbrush in hand, she responded something like "Well, God gives people talents. And some people have the talent to paint, and some people have the talent to [insert here some other activities she mentioned], but God gives us the talents and that's that." Well, okay, that's what I got from the convo, but i was actually buzzed a little from the thought, "hey! we just talked a bit together! that's great!"

• Magda came back from Romania on Sunday and joined us Monday afternoon at the internat.

• Adriana returned from her trip to Romania and spent a HECK of a lot of time and effort finding us a new office/apartment.

• John finally made it back from his visit to the States...only to have to move out of his home/office almost immediately.

• And it was so nice, and a bit weird at first, to have everyone on the team back and in one place.

• Yes, the house we were renting was sold (so good for the owners), and we were frantically looking and praying for a new place. Thanks for the prayers out there, because Wednesday, John, Adriana, and Magda all found a great place for us in Botanica - the same section of the city where the internat is.

• We boxed up and moved all our stuff to the new place on Friday. Three of Magda's friends helped us - Yea God! They had a truck and muscles to help us get the stuff to the 4th floor of the new apartment building. I was again thankful for all the friends who helped me move in sub-zero temperatures AT NIGHT in January last year, and again in August...and January this year...you know who you are.

• Attended Magda's prayer group on Thursday night. Was interesting...well, what I understood anyway. (I know, enough with the disclaimers already. By now you know that everything is absorbed through the fog of an unknown language...)

• Went to a great FREE philharmonic concert last night sponsored by the Norwegian Embassy. The music was beautiful and the cellist was amazing. Also, they handed out these brochure/magazine things to encourage people to visit Norway. I must be a sucker for advertising, because it worked. I think I might plan a vacation there...it looks so beautiful...will probably have to wiki "fjord" before i go...

• My sister, Laura, graduated from George Washington University's Elliott School of International Affairs with a Masters in Security Policy Studies this week. She is awesome and an inspiration to me. Can't wait to visit her next time in DC.

• My cousin, Rachel, is graduating from high school in Collierville, TN today, and will have a senior trumpet recital tomorrow. My family is gathered there this weekend. I am so excited they are together.

• This week, this feeling of missing friends and family is so thick it can't be spread on bread without ripping up the piece of bread apart...like really super thick (and chilled) peanut butter. That's just how it goes sometimes.

• I am hooked on past episodes of NCIS. That is my sad little secret these last two weeks. I can't even get started on LOST - afraid I'll lose all sense of reality and just become a complete junkie. I am, after all, two full seasons behind.

This is a really long post. Sorry about that. Thanks for listening to the babble.

much love,

amk

"Do you have rap?"

Monday Adriana and I planned to do manicures with the girls. Everyone was pretty restless and loud that day, and it seemed like we spent most of the time getting the kids to quiet down and not aggravate each other. Therefore, time for nails went out the window. Adriana, however, lead a great activity about dolphins with an art project the kids liked. So, after a discussion cu fetele (with the girls) about being patient with each other, we said tomorrow could work for nails depending on their ability to be quiet and more patient with everyone.

Today the girls (and guys) did really well. The kids from Galati had made each child a card (please. this was amazing. our kids loved them), and a short video. Rachel passed out the cards and showed the kids the video and pictures on a computer. Some kids responded excitedly, "Hey! Can I write them a note?!" So, maybe we'll have some pen-pal-ish action going on between here and Galati...how great would that be?

After the presentation, the boys headed outside and two nail stations were set. Each girl got a bit of a manicure: nail soak, cuticle treatment, trimming and shaping, hand massage with lotion, a nail buff (to shine up the nail), and a coat of pink or clear polish.

We had music in the background - my iTunes account. They found the "Teach Yourself Romanian" tracks and thought it was pretty funny to hear the recorded Romanian lessons.

The manicure was a precious bit of individual time with each girl. The last young lady and I actually had a conversation. It went something like this:

I was like, "So, what are you doing after this?"
(Imagine the head tilting side to side. We were getting nails done, after all.)
And she was like, "I'm going to do homework and eat dinner and then read."
I was like, "And what did you do this weekend?"
And she was like "I played games and made food and..."
I interrupted, "What kind of food? Because I don't cook and need to learn. What's your favorite food to make?"
And she was like, "Well, macaroni with cheese."
I was like, "How do you cook it?"
And she was like, "Well, you boil the water and put salt and oil in it. Then when the water's boiling you put in the pasta - "
"How much?"
"Well, however much you want to eat."
"Oh."
"Then when the pasta is done, not to hard and not too soft - "
"How do you like it?"
"Ah, normal." (Head tilt and shoulders shrug.)
"Oh, sure."
"Then drain the pasta and add cheese and mix it together." (During this section I had to get clarification...which means using hand gestures and sound effects.)
"That's all?"
"That's all."
"Do you add salt?"
"I already did to the water."
"Oh, and oil?"
"Da." (I must have missed that step, although at the time I most certainly affirmed that I understood.)
Then I hear:
"Eini, do you have rap?" "Hey - what did you do to the music?!" "Hey! Leave it alone!" "Eini, Eini, Eini, Eini, can i use this please?"...and thus ends our cooking lesson.

Each of the girls seemed to glow just a little bit afterwards. Not so much from the manicure itself - which, by the way, wasn't too shabby, please - but from the one on one interaction. It was a small thing to brighten their day. It was a huge gift to me.

from Bread for the Journey

"Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves up to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaved for long periods of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country… the pain of leaving can tear us apart.

Still if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, and hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking."

Henri J.M. Nouwen, Bread for the Journey

Somewhere

Here's a little bit of an update. (honestly, i have no idea where to start.)

* We have started to volunteer at a boarding school/orphanage in Chisinau. The kids have free time in the afternoon, so we have been helping a specific 4th grade class with homework. After homework is gametime. Rachel taught the kids Chaos this week - a game that the kids and staff play in Galati, Romania (and Grimes, Iowa...). It was great. (As far as homework is concerned, "we" means the rest of the team. Fourth grade homework in another language is out of my league for now. :) )

* Language lessons with Adriana are going well...we just started again after a two week hiatus. Learning a new language at 31 is difficult. But worth it. Today I read the WMF lifestyle celebrations out loud...in Romanian...in the presence of two of my teammates. I seriously had to pause for a full 30 seconds after saying the first word and inwardly battle my feelings of embarrassment and the desire to give up. Outwardly, this is not a big deal. Inwardly, it is a battle of pride. Lots of people have been praying about language learning for me. Thank you. Seriously. Thank you.

* As you know, I am not really a cook. I mean, I like to bake things, but am not a pro in the kitchen. So yesterday no one else was home and i made this recipe for lemon potatoes that i found. I thought, "it looks easy enough, and it's a different way to prepare potatoes. Why not?" Friends, it was horrible. (That may also be due to the fact I didn't have every ingredient and therefore added a few spices on my own...) My suggestion: follow the recipe if you decide to make lemon potatoes. Today I made a first ever tomato-based sauce for pasta. That was fun and turned out so much better than the lemon potatoes. Yea! Victory!

* Yesterday while playing with the first grade class at the orphanage, a little boy made me lots of food (his kitchen was this great cardboard box - some things are no different in any culture! kids love to play with boxes!). Then he decided i was sick and needed an IV, some syrup, tea, and pills. He also listened to my heartbeat...through my forearm...but, it's the thought that counts. After taking my temperature (under both arms, please), he declared I was well. He also felt my forehead to see if I was sick. He must have learned doctoring from my mom, because i obviously did not have a fever...Anyway, it was really sweet to play with the first graders a bit. All the first grade girls were gone (they have different activities, or circles, in the afternoons), and we just played with the boys.

*Two staff members from the Galati field visited last week. It was really encouraging to just sit and talk with them. Here's a few more stories as detailed in April's blog here.

I realize his is kind of general, but I had to start somewhere. If you are looking for really deep thoughts and new observations and understandings about the Kingdom of God and Jesus and life, you will be disappointed. I will not be able to deliver that for you. There. It's out. You can check out the blogs of my teammates, on the WMF website, or other folks for some depth of insight. But honestly, I don't have it. I haven't read all the books or pray really well or have a lot of discernment and wisdom. I am new at this...I, I, I, blah blah blah. I know I know, whatever. But i will try to do a better job of just posting life as it's lived, and some stories for you to get to know how things are here and what i'm learning. I hope that you can discover this journey with me...even if it's made up of a lot of random stories without a, well, clear point.

Ok! Better go!
la revedere,
annie

green feathers

In honor of our dance lesson tonight: The Jive.

Yes, it's true, Oxana and I learned the Jive. Although, a green feather/sequined outfit was not required. Thankfully. And, well...we've started with the basic Jive.

Let's recap a bit, shall we? (aka Dear Laura and Judi, i realized last week that i've only updated this a couple times in the last 6 weeks...)

This blog entry could also be titled: "we thought we didn't have a plan but we actually kind of did have a plan and now it has changed..."

Last time I sent a massive update to friends and family I mentioned that we had an opportunity to work with a certain orphanage in a nearby village. Well, that hasn't worked out as hoped...but we did learn from the situation. So, right now it looks like that partnership is on hold, and we are/have been visiting other organizations within and nearby Chişinău for the last couple of weeks. Again. But this has been great, as we have been able to visit even more organizations that are doing what they can to help children.

I am not 100% sure about the rest of our team, but I really thought that in the next month's prayer letter I'd be writing about this particular orphanage, our work with them, maybe (hopefully) introduce you to a child I'd met there, etc...but I realized that this was my plan and assumption...and that obviously i was just assuming and not really listening to God. So, here God reminds me that this is His show, and I need to be patient...and listen. Please note, this will only be the first of a bajillion times that the previous sentence will be written/comeoutofmymouth. Last week was pretty rough, but we encountered people doing great work here in Moldova...and that was encouraging.

In a village we toured/met with an organization that reaches out and works with children with disabilities as well as children from socially vulnerable families. Beginning as a small group of parents with children with disibilities that wanted to provide support to each other, the center now is a two story building and works with many children (sorry, don't have the numbers here for you...but it is a lot). They also have a big loom in one of the rooms, and women from the village come and teach the younger women the art/handicraft of weaving carpets/wallhangings/etc. IT IS SOOOO COOL!!!!! Not only are these girls learning a job skill, they are enabled to continue a cultural tradition. What a blessing for these girls to learn and glean from these older women of the village.

In total we visited 4 organizations last week, and have 5 or 6 more to visit this week. Last week was as encouraging as the previous week was draining.

What else is going on, you ask?
Adriana (bless her heart! no really. BLESS HER HEART.) is teaching all of us language (Romanian for me, Russian for everyone else). You can pray for me that i start throwing caution to the wind and take risks and JUST START SPEAKING ROMANIAN...aka: verbally butcher Romanian and thus potentially provide comic relief for anyone patient enough to listen. Seriously. Six weeks is not long enough to learn a language, but i need to make more of an effort to speak it to people. Here is a not so secret secret: i am really prideful. i don't want to look stupid, and i think that's what's starting to hold me back. eck. Simply another way God is redeeming me - even if i fight Him on it sometimes...also, trying not to say bad words in my head during some of the maxi taxi rides is another way God is redeeming me. So far, I'm not very good at either.

John, Adriana, Rachel, and Magda were all sick last week and are just getting over it this week...so, you can pray for them.

John and I found a ferris wheel that (we think) must be from soviet-era Moldova. We took a ride and were the only ones on the thing - it was the type that didn't stop for you, one has to just step into it while it's turning. I probably wouldn't have ridden a similar ride at Funtastic Days in Grimes, but here - it was an adventure. The view was really beautiful, even if the thought of minimal safety equipment was a bit harrowing. So, in short, I will be going again...and taking servant teams there. i would recommended it to anyone - so if any of you come to visit, save 8 lei for a ferris wheel ride.

I have started to take an exercise class - or what i thought was an exercise class when I signed up. It's actually an European/Latin Dance class...with a teacher named Olga who is a champion Moldovan ballroom dancer. And, the class is taught in Russian. And, i learned a simple waltz and tango last week. And, IT IS GREAT!!!! And, my name is Anya during class. "No, Anya - start with the left. The left!"

Okay! That's this week's update!
Thank you all for the prayers and support. Seriously. They are super encouraging.
Much love,
annie

Some pictures

Can't believe we are beginning our second month of work here in Chişinău, Moldova. I'll try to get you caught up on what's going on. :)

Chris and Phileena Heuertz, David Chronic, and Liz Ivkovich visited us two weeks ago. It was pretty amazing. Phileena facilitated chapel each day, Chris talked about the story of Word Made Flesh, and we as a Moldova community talked about our thoughts/hopes for our work here. It was a really encouraging time. Liz is the director of administration, and a great person, and she stayed with me. The last day Chris talked with us (David and Phileena, too, as they have been working since the beginning with Word Made Flesh) about the importance of a focused vision for our work here. The two weeks prior we visited 3 different organizations and began to dream/think about what our role could be here in Chisinau. At the time we were really brainstorming, but when we met last week, Chris encouraged us to (through prayer and God's direction), try to narrow our focus and make it something within which our whole team can work. So, we decided to go back and work with the kids at each organization for a whole week together.

For example, last week we had chapel, then language learning/program planning, quick lunch, and headed to a placement center for children for the afternoon. The social workers and the directors at this home/placement center try to either re-integrate the child back into their families (if safe), or integrate them into foster or adoptive families. If the children are not placed in a year, then the child is sent to an orphanage. The children are all done with school between 2-3pm, so we arrived about 2:30, helped with homework for an hour/hour and a half, and ended the day with a couple of songs and games. It became so apparent how much these children need someone to come along side of them and tell them how much God loves them, how they can study and are smart and give them praise.

Beginning tomorrow, we will go to a nearby village. Within this village we will be spending time at an orphanage. Currently there are about 330 children there, and they live and go to school on the "campus". Tomorrow we will split up and observe some classes. Then we'll eat with the younger kids and just hang out for a bit.

Here are a couple of albums i've put together for the last few weeks. Note there won't be any pictures of the children, as we haven't really built any relationships yet. However, please enjoy the introduction (of sorts) to my life here.

Living in Moldova
January and February 2010

Ca La Moldova

Peace Corps volunteers living in Moldova created an hour-long documentary called "This is Moldova" last year. A compilation of interviews and photographs, the documentary highlights current day struggles in Moldova. Here is the 3 minute trailer:



To see the full-length (60 minute) film, go here. It is excellent. Want more information? Visit the filmmakers website.

Where?

Situated in Eastern Europe, the Republic of Moldova is landlocked between Romania to the west, and Ukraine to the north, east, and south. In short, Moldova was part of Romania from about 1918 until it's incorporation into the Soviet Union at the end of World War II.

The Republic of Moldova gained independence from the USSR on August 27th, 1991.

A Beginning

Many of you encouraged and supported me as I took joined a servant team with Word Made Flesh in Galaţi, Romania, February through June 2009. During that time I learned more about God’s heart, His concern for children and their parents who are in poverty, and myself.

In late March 2009, the Servant Team and 4 staff members went to Chişinău, Moldova for two weeks. One Sunday, we took a bus to an orphanage in a village outside Chişinău. During a short tour of one of the dorms we walked into one of the bedrooms. It was a big room with single beds outlining the walls. The walls were stark, except for a few crayon-colored pictures and a few magazine make-up ads. I realized that for some of the girls, make-up ads may have been their only definition of beauty. I was angry and sick – a definition of beauty that is unrealistic and superficial. I wanted to reach out to abandoned girls to show them that they have worth and value because they were created by God who loves them.

So, I am going back to Eastern Europe. I will be joining the Word Made Flesh staff in Moldova, and have signed a three year commitment to serve as the Servant Team Coordinator there. In addition to facilitating the Servant Teams, the whole point of this journey is to build relationships with children and teenagers in order for them to meet Jesus and begin the healing process.

I hope to keep you "in the loop" through this blog.
Here we go!
annie